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Millie Stevens - Aged 13
This was a poetic creation-myth, its language gently inviting the reader to imagine a beautiful, interconnected universe of possibility. It was truly wonderfully creative, and the plot was very imaginative and felt very fresh. We also loved that you gave such great personalities to each animal. You also had a beautiful use of similes and metaphors. There was some fantastic use of short punchy sentences to push your narrative, clever work. It’s truly a beautifully-crafted piece.
Overall, we loved the whole concept of the story, and the imaginative alternative this is to the stereotypical creationist story. There is a brilliant use of personification throughout. We love the notion that the birds could ‘sing trees out of the ground’, and we had no clue that pigs had willed the sun into existence! But it all made perfect sense!
Overall, it was really gripping, and we were on the edge of our seats wondering what would happen next! It was brilliantly written, and a fantastic cautionary tale of potentially creating a self-fulfilling prophecy through your own fears. Really powerful!
In the beginning, before the world began, the fatigued animals floated through space. It was always dusk - never daytime and never night-time - the air was always a pinky-orange like the sunset that we have today. However it's not how you might be imagining it. It was so misty that the animals were blinded. If you have ever fainted or lost your vision then maybe you are someone that can understand what I am saying. The air was as murky as the tea you have in the morning, so the animals often felt like they were trapped in a box. Through the dusk sky, they rarely saw each other.
A delicate, gossamer bat interrupted the silence first, for he was sick and tired of the dusk and wanted proper darkness. Squeaking out loud, the bat decided to tell everyone, “I’ve had enough of this world. Let’s create a new world with night!". The bat spreaded it's glassy, silky wings to fly off to the unknown. It wanted to have a dark sky to practise echolocation and objects to bounce noise off.
As the bat flew through the air, he bumped into a giant, dry, massive piece of skin. Almost trampling the bat, a perfectly, pink pig trotted through the air and responded, "no way, if we make a world, then I need a nice hot sun, so that I can squirm underneath in the mud!". The wonderful round belly grumbled, looking for food. The curly tail bounced around whenever the pig thought of the mud that they could make. He wanted the mud to be the exact same brown as his fluffy ears. Even though, the pig wanted the sun, he was anxious that he might get burnt. So his glorious solution was that he could use the silky mud to protect his back like the sun cream we use today.
Not seeing where he was going, the pig bumped into a few birds. He was unaware of what he was doing because of how gloomy and dusty it was. Misty and drab, the dusky sky camouflaged like a lizard trying to hide from its predator. It was so unclear that the animals could only see shapes and objects, and so they moved around, trying not to crash into them. They were so exhausted from the dusk that they couldn't see anything. However, they were used to it following each others voices to get closer and there was a small little crowd surrounding the bat and the pig.
Then a furry, tail-wagger appeared out of nowhere and agreed with the pig; he argued that he needed ground to walk on. He was so energetic that he wanted to play with sticks, balls and go to the green, playful area, created especially for him to have fun. He dreamed of playing with other dogs just like him.
Knowing that this great idea was likely to get out of hand, a great humpback whale swam through the dusky air to calm the animals down and think about this plan logically. The Whale thought they needed to have a plan, so they should approach this like they were planning to climb a meteorite like a mountain goat. The other animals agreed with the whale. Slowly, they all quietened in order to let the fish speak, "I think what we really need is water: freshwater lakes and a nice, big salty ocean!" Excited and begging for the sea, the whale was bouncing around and slashing the imaginary water as it was in the ocean.
The sound of flowing birds’ wings entered the debate; the peaceful dove said, "if we are creating a world, then we need a sky in it." Although all of the animals agreed a sky would be nice to look at, none of them could agree that it was the most important thing, so they started squabbling again. But the birds argued about the importance of the sky, because they could not see in the eternal dusk and keep on bumping into each other. Even the other animals reluctantly agreed that they needed the space. They haltingly acknowledged that the birds had huge, fragile wings to flap about; if they collided with something, they might break their colourful feathers.
Wise and elegant, the elephant, who was normally in charge, ran towards the commotion. Above the chaotic noise, the large, grey mammal trumpeted loudly through her long nose, "all I want is for everyone to be together; don't all of you want that too?"
Surprised, the cheetahs had their mouths wide open. The baboons had eyes stretched out like a circle. Frozen, the squirrel watched with its heart beating rapidly. Then all the animals started shouting at him "YES!" Finally, all of the creatures agreed to cooperate and work together, like busy worker ants building a colony and creating a new world. It was exactly what they did, as they made the world you are relaxing in now.
Slowly, they got to work planning what they were going to do. "We can all share the Earth, and everyone can be responsible for their corner," explained the whale. First, the scorpion made the large land. The horse, who was creating grass, started to eat everything around him. Although he was devouring it, the grass was growing quicker than you could ever believe. Bright, the grass was as green as an emerald growing in a mine. Soft but also spiky, it was some times painful to walk on, however it was gentle to touch. Between the blades of grass, fluffy and tall the dandelions grow out of the soil. Blue like the sky bluebells were born. Like the sun sunflowers grew like a child getting older. Purple and pointy, lavender woke up for the daytime.
As the birds sang trees out of the ground, the worms started developing the earth under the roots. In the morning, the trees extended their arms
as if they were getting out of bed. Everyone decided that the fish was going to create magnificent water: oceans, streams and rivers. Curled and swirled, the rivers looked like snakes travelling across the world. Where the snakes opened their mouths, they joined one big group.
Sky! Instead of the misty air, the animals decided that they needed sky, so the birds flew around and made it. Blue and radiant, the sky is sometimes clear like a new shiny bowl after being in the wash. However, the colour changes to a dark indigo as the biggest, yellow star in the world hides away and the smaller luminous stars arrive. During the day, the sky can still be full of fluff which sometimes covers the giant star; for the sky was the home of the sun, which the pigs willed into existence. Next came the rocks and they were made by the crabs in the sea; solid, concrete, and a variety of colours.
Blue and green and covered in life, the Earth now existed because of how much the animals had wanted it. It wasn't until one thousand years later that humans were created, and they made their own things too.
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