Maisie Roe - Aged 10 - Runner Up!
Oh, this is a spooky and dark tale! The judges thought that this was imaginative. vividly brought to life, and displaying a maturity as grand as its themes, Home is Hell is a chilling parable one might easily misattributed to Stephen King or The Brothers Grimm. It’s a very mature subject and the writer sets the scene perfectly. This is very thought-provoking and clearly a lot of consideration has gone into this piece.
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It was a very brave and interesting story to write. The plot twist is hugely unexpected, where everything we thought we knew about the heroine was put into question. We also enjoyed your alliteration with “ horrifying, hated and hot floor of hell”, and the way you described the devil's eyes was ingenious. While rather horrific, this is clearly the intended effect and Gina’s emotions and thoughts are displayed perfectly throughout too!
Home is Hell
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The modern platform was crowded with hundreds of people. Smoke and cigarettes hung in the air. Gina shook her head in disgust at the dirt on the seats; she hated how horrible this station was. She had spent seven hours at school and was too tired to ignore how gross it was today. However, in her mind, she was planning a cleaning for the station on Saturday. So it would be nice for everyone.
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The squealing scratch of train tracks screamed as the train got closer, and everyone pushed and shoved to get to the front. Gina found herself being guided to the edge of the platform. Before she could put her foot down, she felt hands on her back and hit the tracks.
Gina saw the bright light shining in the sky. She knew it was over. She also knew that she was a good person. So, when she found herself in a white lift floating up through clouds, she wasn’t scared. On Earth, she always gave money to charity, all of her pets were adopted not bought, and she had been part of a scheme to plant 100 thousand trees. She knew she was going to heaven.
While she happily hummed to herself on the lift, she heard a crack that sounded like an earthquake. Worried and fearful, she cried, “Can I even die again?” Grabbing onto the walls, she let out an ear-popping scream. The lift plummeted to the ground, but it took a full minute for it to hit the horrifying, hated and hot floor of hell. BANG!
Even though she was only wearing a skirt and t-shirt, she was boiling. The doors slowly opened on the lift; she gasped at what she saw. Looking around, she was horrified by the sight of a blood-red giant staring down at her. Surrounding him were five tiny but terrifying demons, yet she could only look at him.
Walls of fire surrounded them, but there were tiny wooden doors that she saw people moving through. Whenever someone turned a handle, she could see the metal melting against their skin, burning them and making them scream.
She knew who the figure in front of her was and that she shouldn’t stare, yet she could not tear her eyes away. He had pitch-black horns which looked like they would be rough to the touch, but his skin was smooth. His feet were webbed like a mermaid’s hands, but they still looked dreadful. “Looking scared I see, there must have been a mess up in the system”, croaked his deep voice.
On the dirty, rough floor, Gina shook like a tree in the wind. Terrified and burning alive, Gina looked at him and said,” I’m not supposed to be here!” Although she was right, she just knew she wasn’t supposed to look at him. It felt like looking into the eyes of an alcoholic who had drunk a bottle of rum but was still craving more.
The devil didn’t notice her discomfort though, for he was too busy ordering his lackeys to take her to her new home. Screaming souls, who had been lured into the backs of hell, felt like they were ripping her ear drums out. The lackeys floated towards her and grabbed her. Their claws dug into her skin.
Gina was dragged to a room that had hurt children in it and she was supposed to look at them and do nothing to help. Despite the lack of direct involvement, this was torture for the woman who had dedicated her life to helping and teaching the innocent youths she loved. Hours felt like days and days felt like years, she hated it all at first but then something happened that made her change all her beliefs.
Torturing. After a lifetime there, her punishment had been increased and she now needed to hurt the children. Seeing the kids crying on the floor made her head tingle; she felt her frown turn upside down. Gina, who had once been desperate to escape this demonic dreamworld, suddenly
couldn’t remember why she wanted to leave, but she knew should.
Anxiously, she stepped up to Lucifer’s office and knocked on his door. Bang…Bang…Bang!
Tall and imposing, the head of hell himself glared down at Gina. “Yes?”
Frozen in place, Gina managed to whisper out the words, “I don’t belong here.”
“Beginning to wonder why you are still here, dear?” Gina nodded her pale face. Despite his red-hot expression, he sounded really calm when he said, “You are the best torturer.” Gina knew it in her heart of hearts, and she knew that the words she had said out loud were wrong. Staring at him blankly, she said, “I am, aren’t I?”
There’s more to heaven and hell than good and evil: there’s also good luck and bad luck.