India Carr - Aged 11 - Runner Up
Talk about gripping the reader from the first sentence…! The casual narration & journal format develops an empathetic link between reader and protagonist. The writer has an excellent grasp on humour that is clearly created from realistic interactions between people. We were really impressed by the great dialogue, and the diary format brought the characters to life. This was a great tale of mystery and suspense and ooooh that cliff hanger was compellingly written. We also liked the way the note is in its own separate font to add veracity. A great style choice!
The Muddiford Murder
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25th September 2015
They just went out for some dinner, but they never came back.
I suppose I should start at the beginning, although I don’t know why I’m writing this down; it’s not like anyone’s going to be reading this.
It all began when we were getting ready for Cassie’s 13th birthday sleepover, and as usual it was carnage.
“Lottie what the hell are you doing in my room?” Cassie shouted.
“Looking for the party poppers!” Lottie’s muffled voice came from beneath the bed. Cassie stormed into our room shouting incoherently about the fact that she had them already. Oh, how it was going be a long night. Our big ginger cat, Ted, stretched out over the covers, oblivious to the chaos going on around him.
“Girls we’re going,” Mum called up the stairs. They were heading off to the Muddiford inn to meet some work friends for dinner. Mum was dressed up in a fancy pink dress adorned with the silver cat brooch we had bought her for Christmas. Dad was wearing his smartest outfit; a pair of unmuddied brown trousers, a moderately clean shirt and a massive top hat perched on his head.
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“Ummmm,” Sam asked looking pointedly at the black top hat “why are you wearing that thing on your head?”
“What? This old thing, it was hanging about in the bottom of my cupboard, I thought it could add some extra pizzazz to my outfit,” Dad said, waving the top hat around in an overexuberant manner.
“Never say pizzazz again ok dad?” Lottie smirked “Never, ok?” Dad nodded and pulled her in close “Love ya Lotts,”
“Right time to go Bill,” mum said, ushering him out the door “Be good girls, don’t wait up for us and Dani?”
“Yes mum?”
“Make sure the other ones don’t go too crazy with the sweeties, alright?”
“Ok mum,” I said wrapping my arms around her, and with that they left.
As soon as the front door slammed closed, we all went wild. Pillows were thrown, snacks were eaten, secrets were told. We all settled down for an epic night.
26th September 2015
When we woke up the following morning, we raced down the stairs hoping to find mum making pancakes for our breakfast. As we entered the kitchen we were met by silence.
“Meeeeeooooooww” Ted jumped up onto the counter and started headbutting Sam hard on the shoulder. “Meeeeeoooowwww”
“That’s strange,” I said peering around the kitchen, “Mum’s usually fed you by now Ted.”
“Maybe they’ve slept in,” Cassie yawned, “I wish we had.”
“Let’s make them some coffee and give them breakfast in bed,” Lottie suggested, “Might give us a few brownie points before they find out that we’ve dyed our hair.”
“Good idea,” said Sam, “I’ll make the toast.”
A few minutes later we were parading up the stairs holding plates of breakfast. Ted padded up in front of us, acting like he was the leader.
Ted nugged open the door with a paw. I peered around the room, there was no one there. Where’s mum and dad I thought. I looked closer. There were no signs that they had come home. From outside in the corridor, I heard Cassie shout “Hurry up! This tray is killing me, Dani!”
“Wait a second Cassie, something strange has happened,” I said slowly. I got one last glance around the room before Cassie came storming in, holding the tray in front of her. That’s when I noticed it: a small piece of paper lying on the bed. “What do you mean something strange has hap….”Cassie stopped dead.
“Where’s mum and dad?” Sam said quietly.
“I I don’t know,” my voice almost a whisper. I slowly walked over to the bed and picked up the piece of paper it looked like a diary entry.
“Guys look what I found,” I called, waving the piece of paper around. They all hurried over, even Ted, to look.
This is what it said:
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“Where’s, where’s the rest of it?” I said frantically, looking at the paper. “Other side maybe,” Lottie suggested. It wasn’t there.
“Everyone start searching the rest of the house ,” Cassie commanded.
Everywhere was searched; tables and chairs were upturned, drawers thrusted open, exclamations shouted. We still couldn’t find the other piece.
“Uuuurrrggghhh this is hopeless,” Sam said flopping on the bed, “we’ll never find it at this rate.”
“Hey, I’ve got an idea,” Lottie pondered.
“What is it,” I asked.
“It might not be a good idea but…” Lottie said sheepishly.
“Any idea’s but then none,” Cassie said.
“Ok then, I was thinking that we could walk down to the pub and see if there’s any clues to where mum and Dad are.” Lottie murmured.
“That’s actually a really good idea, Lottie” Sam said.
“Yes, it really is,” I said smiling at her. Lottie looked proud and embarrassed at the same time.
“Ok everybody,” Cassie stood up, “get dressed and ready then we’ll walk down to the pub.”
We stood next to the door, Sam had hold of Alfie the family dog and I was carrying a red backpack. “Ready?” I said looking around.
“Yes.” They all said. And with that we stepped into the rain and wind.
