Elsie Worner - Aged 11
Intriguing! Instantly the writer sets the scene with the beginnings of a truly engaging & enigmatic fantasy-thriller. The careful language builds up an atmosphere of mystery while its colourful world brings to life a vibrant imagination. There is a real sense of wonder and mystery. You built a vivid world with a strong emotional hook. With a brilliant plot and cliffhanger ending, we are all intrigued to read more! Well done on how you have structured the narrative! We loved the way the tension ratchets up towards the end!
Jessa’s Jungle
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In 2018 Jessa, a rebel girl with long wavey brown hair, hazel eyes and lots of freckles, needed to uncover a truth that had taunted her all twelve years of her life…. Where were her parents?
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One morning, Jessa woke to a rising sun and birds chirping, but something was wrong, there was smoke in the air. She rushed downstairs to find her uncle asleep in a chair and giant flames coming from the stove in the kitchen. She quicky turned off the gas and woke her uncle up shouting ‘Uncle Kevan, what happened?’
After a brief moment of silence, his response came ‘I’m so sorry, I was up all night thinking about your parents as it was their anniversary last night. I must have fallen asleep after putting the water on for eggs for breakfast.’
Jessa’s parents, Eleanor and Jack, disappeared at the time of her birth, so Jack’s brother, Kevan had brought Jessa up. The day passed slowly and quietly and when Jessa went to bed, all she could think about were her parents. She decided to get up and went down to the understairs cupboard where the paperwork was kept to find her parents files. She turned the lights on and saw that the back wall was open a crack, it was only when she opened it fully that she realised it wasn’t a wall at all, but a secret door leading to a network of tunnels. Jessa didn’t know why, but she knew she was meant to go in, so she grabbed a torch from a coat pocket and embarked on what would be an adventure of a lifetime, closing the door behind her. The tunnels were dark, damp and mysterious. Jessa had no idea what was waiting for her.
After a few twists and turns she found herself at a dead end. Looking around the wall in front of her, one rock stood out and when she took a closer look, she saw a hand print. She pushed the rock and the wall flung open so hard that it almost knocked her off her feet, but that wasn’t what caught her attention, it was what was on the other side that had her mesmerised.
Jessa stood, mouth open, staring at a beautiful, tropical rain forest. Wonderfully coloured birds were singing tunefully, the soft leaves were a majestic emerald colour and the sky was so blue, Jessa thought she was in a fairy tale. How could this be – was it an undiscovered world?
What had her parents gotten themselves into? As the sun shone brightly, Jessa caught a glimpse of something in the grass. Looking closer, she saw it was her mother’s necklace – she recognised from a photo she had next to her bed. That’s when Jessa knew her parents were here. The next challenge was finding her mum and dad – how hard could that be? Stepping onto the path, which way to go was the next big decision. Would Jessa find her parents or would she be lost in this other world forever? The end…… or is it